Chasing Love or Just Love-Struck?

Ever notice how the misfit, renegade, “outlaw” bits of our psyche — yeah, the one nursing a wound or trauma or some shady backstory — just yearn to join the big ol’ bash that is you? Life’s like a psychological high-school reunion, and even your inner drama queen wants in on the party. The goal? Synchronizing the mess in your head with the reality, you know, that flesh-and-bone bag you walk around in. It’s like your soul’s got a case of “Fear of Missing Enlightenment.” – even your past mistakes are rooting for a redemptive glow-up.

Ahem, speaking of messy situations. A gal pal dropped this spicy nugget on me the other day: “Will my oh-so-casual Mr. Right Now finally kick his matrimonial baggage to the curb and moonwalk right into my waiting arms?” Baby girl, did she think she needed Tarot cards to untangle that yarn? Uh-uh, nope!

Life ain’t that complicated, sugar. If you’re stuck in reruns of your own drama series, expect a predictable ending. Seriously, you can’t keep playing the same level and expect to unlock a secret bonus round. Change the game, don’t be a slave to the algorithm of your past.

Oh, and the universe? That cosmic DJ spinning tracks of fate? Sometimes, the vibes are just in your favor. But darling, when you’re trying to headbutt your way through a concrete wall, not even Jupiter going retrograde can save your behind.

Miracles, my love, do happen, but let’s be clear: they’re not summoned by our delusional wish lists. The real magic? It’s when you roll up those sleeves, dig deep into the closet of your psyche, and toss out those moth-eaten skeletons. A ‘you vs. you’ stare-down? Now that’s a ticket to enlightenment town, population: one less lonely you.

So, I offered Miss Curious something more potent than the “Pick-a-card-any-card” shtick. I served her a steaming cup of truth tea: the reason her love life’s playing musical chairs is that her emotional thermostat got stuck at Sweet 16.

Rewind to teenage heartbreak city, where Daddy Dearest packed up and left, leaving her love-o-meter permanently skewed. Now, she might be a career queen bee with a Gucci belt, but inside? She’s still that teenage girl, juggling fear and desire like a bad TikTok dance routine.

I spilled it all and even tossed in a fortune cookie line: “Girl, the answers you seek won’t come from the man of your dreams but from the girl in your mirror.” So here’s a toast to her, for saying yes to the ultimate glow-up. And to all of us, learning to find the real deal love without relying on society’s stale script.

Hungry for sex or love?

In reality, this hunger pushed her to grow beyond all her limits. It led her to a high job position, a perfect model look, and all the status symbols of success (a mansion in an elite part of the city, a sports car and designer clothes from Paris).

Even though she overcame many problems in her life and career, that 16-year-old girl’s emotional life was still that of a hurt and alone teenager.

Who, on the one hand, wants to be completely his and, on the other, doesn’t want to get hurt again.

So, she attracted men who, for whatever reason, couldn’t fully commit to her. Most of them were already married, and in a few cases, they were too young for a relationship and the growth that comes from both good and bad emotional experiences.

When a man has a problem, he tends to stick his head in the sand. She also found different reasons why these two things should go together.

She said, “Well, it’s fine to have a fuck buddy because… you don’t have to do anything, and it’s nice to love each other in a way, even while having sex.”

So there she was, like a moth to the emotional flame, stuck in a loop of “Why doesn’t he love me?” Let’s be real: girl’s been working on herself. I mean, she’s got the self-help books to prove it. Theory? Check. Intellectual understanding? Double-check. But honey, if your heart still plays those sad ballads of “I’m not good enough, that’s why he ghosted,” then you need a bit more than theory — you need soul-ology. Yup, like a love-sick magnet, she was pulling in all this drama, cryin’ out for her own, personal spiritual spa day.

“You’re Too Good For Basic Love — Shoot for the Fireworks!”

She dreamed of wedding bells with her current “Boo, but not really” (you know, the guy who sends the “U up?” texts but never a bouquet). But then, like a slap of cold water mixed with a shot of espresso, she realized: “Why settle for lukewarm when you can have sizzlin’?”

“So, how do I ghost this Ghost of Emotional Past?” she’s pondering, one hand holding a cocktail, the other a Tarot card. And let me tell ya, Tarot doesn’t mess around. If you’re looking for a sugar-coated fortune cookie message, you’re in the wrong celestial neighborhood, darling.

“Get Real to Feel Real — Talk to Daddy Dearest.”

Tarot lays it out flat: you wanna thaw that frozen emotional tundra? Then go chat with Daddy-O like you never have. Tears, fears, cheers, and all those things you bottled up while listening to angsty teenage rock. Let it out, girl, like an uncorked champagne! 🍾

I’m just here, beaming like a proud life coach at a graduation ceremony, thinking, “She’s got it, she’s got it!” And I didn’t even have to play cheerleader much. The moment that wisdom nugget landed, she’s nodding like she just cracked the Da Vinci Code of her love life. She looks up, eyes twinkling, a brand-new woman, ready to turn the page on a new chapter that’s not just hot — it’s sizzling.

So here’s the mic drop, lovebugs: If you wanna write a love story that’s as epic as a summer blockbuster, start by making peace with your own plot twists.

Audio version here:


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