Stellar Ride Through “Guided Meditation” Debunked

    Buckle up! We’re about to take a cosmic rollercoaster ride through the trippy world of “guided meditation” with all the style, spice, and spirit of a Saturday night disco. Question on the dance floor: “Yo, does the DJ’s voice mess with my vibe during this so-called MEDITATION jam?” Answer, baby: “Ahh, the sweet nectar of your question drips with divine timing! Like, finally, someone wants to cut through the New (c)age nonsense marinated in patchouli and chakras. Are ya’ ready? Here it comes — Brace yourself: GUIDED MEDITATION DOES NOT EXIST. For reals. It’s like saying you’re ‘kinda pregnant.’ Ain’t no such thing, sweetheart.” Hold up, let’s get poetic and deep, like…


    Be Your Own Universe: Vibes & Jives

    Ever dreamed of being so free that even the stars would want your autograph? I’m talking real freedom, baby — not just from 9-to-5 gigs or soul-sucking traffic, but freedom from your own overthinking noggin, that carnival of sensations you call feelings, and those sneaky senses that claim to know it all. So, picture this — a fab client swaggers into my Ki Tarot lounge, right? Conscious as a Zen master, pretty as a sunset, and brave as a lioness in Louboutins. But hey, plot twist! She’s freaking out. Astrology has her thinking Armageddon’s knocking on her door. Gurl, I couldn’t roll my eyes hard enough! Astrology, darling, you’re the…

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